


Lies in The Dark

by bisexualjesse



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Missing Scene, Overstimulation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Sort Of, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 12:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12771309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualjesse/pseuds/bisexualjesse
Summary: Jesse spends two hours and eighteen minutes in Gus's house.





	Lies in The Dark

Jesse spends two hours and eighteen minutes in Gus’s house.

It’s been barely an hour, and he’s already throwing anxious glances at the door, waiting for an opportunity for Gus to get distracted so he can take off. He wishes he could block Gus’s voice out. He doesn’t want to hear any of it anymore; doesn’t want to hear about cartels or meth purity or going to Mexico or any more of Gus’s crazy plan.

“I can’t do it,” he interrupts whatever Gus is saying.

Gus falls silent for a beat. “Jesse,” he says. “I believe this is up to your skills. You will cook the same formula as you do in our lab. Same procedure, just at a different place.”

“No, it’s not the same thing!” Jesse had stopped eating a while ago, since Gus brought up going to Mexico, but he forgoes dinner altogether and stands up from his chair. He paces around the room, ignoring Gus’s disapproving look. “You want me to go to fucking _Mexico_ and cook with a bunch of cartel guys watching. And if I don’t do it right we’re _dead_. Like, yeah, no pressure, it’s all good. What if— what if the equipment in their lab is different? What if everything’s written in, in Mexican or whatever? What do I do then?”

Bile rises up his throat, and Jesse has to look away from that soup on the table or else he’s going to throw up right here and now. He doesn’t know when his hands started shaking or when he started breathing so fast, but he feels like he’s on the brink of a panic attack. He can’t do this. If he’s this worked up just at the _thought_ of going to Mexico, he can’t even imagine how he’ll react once he’s there.

“Jesse, you need to calm yourself down.” Gus takes a sip of his water. “Please, have a seat.”

“No. Look, just— just call the guys off or something. Tell ‘em you won’t do it.”

Gus takes a deep breath, trying to disguise his annoyance. “I can’t call them off. Unless you want more attacks like the one at the farm yesterday to happen. They will not stop until they get what they want.”

“Well, then— then take Mr. White instead. He’s the genius, not me.”

Gus stands up as well, and Jesse backs up a good three steps when he approaches. “I don’t want Walter,” he says, calmly. “I want you.”

Jesse’s stunned for a moment, looking over at Gus as if he can’t believe someone would actually pick him in a situation like this. But then he remembers Mr. White’s similar words to him from a while ago. _I don’t want a monkey, I want you_. It had been horseshit then and it’s horseshit now.

“Well, too bad.” Jesse crosses his arms over his chest, trying to control his breathing. “Because I’m not doing it.”

Gus sighs. He takes a step closer to Jesse, and when Jesse tries to back up he meets a wall. Gus stands in front of him, close but not invading his personal space. It doesn’t make Jesse feel any less cornered, though.

“Jesse,” his voice is calm, patient. “Do you really think I would be asking this of you if I didn’t think you were capable of the task?”

“You’re wrong,” Jesse replies. He sounds small. He _feels_ small.

“I doubt that. You’ve been doing good work at the lab. You need to trust your own abilities more.”

Jesse snorted in disbelief. “Why can’t you just call Mr. White? He’s the one you wanted all along, isn’t he? I’m just the junkie you were ready to waste a month ago. Remember that?”

“I admit I misjudged you, Jesse. I apologize for that.” Gus reaches out and rests a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse’s torn between pulling away and melting into the touch. “You need to trust me. Just as I am trusting you with this task.”

There’s a warm feeling crawling through Jesse’s gut that he doesn’t want to name. He doesn’t know if it’s Gus’s words that are causing it, or the gentle, reassuring touch on his shoulder. All he knows is that this is the first time in a long time he’s felt important, and he doesn’t want that feeling to stop.

Gus stares right into his eyes, and Jesse couldn’t look away if he wanted to.

“You’re worth more than Walter gives you credit for.”

Jesse’s mouth opens in awe. Any other time, he would’ve laughed in disbelief and called it bullshit, but Gus says it with so much intensity and sincerity it’s hard not to believe him. Bullshit or not, he’s the only one who’s ever bothered to say that. The only one in a long time who’s managed to make Jesse feel like he’s worth a damn.

His body seems to have a mind of his own, and, before Jesse’s even aware of what he’s doing, he’s closing the gap between the two of them and pressing his lips to Gus’s.

Gus’s lips are soft, and as soon as they start to move under Jesse’s—perhaps to pull away, perhaps to kiss him back—, Jesse backs up, breaking the kiss. “Shit,” he breathes. He can’t look Gus in the eye. “I’m not, I don’t know why—” 

Should he apologize? Leave? He risks a glance at Gus. The look on the other man’s face is hard to read, but Jesse feels the hand on his shoulder moving up to cup the side of his face. Then his lips are back on Jesse’s, soft but intense. Jesse grabs at his shirt to pull him closer.

A hand sliding around Jesse’s waist sends a shiver up his spine. Jesse parts his lips for him and Gus comes in, tucks right in with the soft of his tongue. He feels Gus moving them until he’s pressed against the wall, once again trapped between it and Gus’s body. Although, this time, he doesn’t mind it nearly as much.

Jesse draws Gus’s bottom lip into his mouth, sucks on it softly. Gus tightens his grip on Jesse’s waist, the hand at Jesse’s face sliding down his chest, and the kisses grow more insistent. Jesse kisses back just as hungrily. He wants to be pressed against that wall harder, wants to feel Gus’s lips and his hands all over him.

He doesn’t know how they make it to the room, doesn’t even realize they’re moving until he feels the soft mattress of the bed under his back. He sighs into the kiss as Gus strokes his sides, bringing his shirt along up to his chest as he goes. Jesse lifts himself up a bit, just enough to pull the shirt the rest of the way off.

When Gus pulls away, Jesse chases his lips. But he stops Jesse with a hand on the younger man’s chest. “Jesse,” his voice is soothing, but firm. “I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

It’s clear he’s not just talking about sex. Jesse remembers their conversation just a few minutes ago, and bile rises up his throat again. Maybe he should leave. Not just Gus’s house. Just drive far away and never look back.

“I don’t—” He glances at the door neither of them had bothered to close, hesitation written all over his features. Gus’s thumb draws small circles on his chest, and Jesse relaxes a little bit, lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“It’s okay to need direction,” Gus says. “I can give that to you. But I need you to trust me. To believe me when I say you’re capable of many things.” His other hand starts to undo the button of Jesse’s jeans, slowly, like he wants to drag this out. “Let me take care of you.”

Jesse arches into that hand that’s so close to his crotch, needing some kind of friction. He nods—a tiny, barely noticeable movement of his head confirming his consent.

Gus’s lips are on his again, gentler but still passionate. Jesse lets Gus maneuver him into whatever position he wants, quickly kicking off his shoes and socks. Gus positions him half-sitting, half-lying back against a pile of pillows and the headboard of the bed. He removes Jesse’s jeans and underwear slowly, but in one go, fingertips ghosting over the smooth, exposed skin of Jesse’s thighs.

Jesse lets out a quiet groan as Gus’s tongue drags on the stubble of his neck and chin. Gus has barely touched him below the belt, but he’s been at least half hard since their makeout session the dining room. And he’s hardening more and more with each kiss Gus presses into his skin. The other’s hands roam his body, but they avoid the one spot Jesse needs their touch the most.

A sound that can only be classified as a whimper falls from Jesse’s mouth as Gus wraps his lips around one of his nipples, playing with the other with his hand. Teeth graze the small bundle, and Jesse feels himself spurt a little bit of pre-come over his stomach.

Pulling away from his nipples, Gus drags his thumb through the warm puddle. He brings the slick finger to Jesse’s mouth, and Jesse obediently parts his lips. His cheeks turn red as he takes the thumb into his mouth, sucking and licking it clean. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s tasted his pre-come, or even his own come. But it is the first time he licks it off somebody else’s thumb, the first time he has someone’s fingers in his mouth.

He rolls his hips gently, searching some sort of contact. Gus nudges his legs apart and kneels between them, but he’s still not close enough for Jesse to grind against his leg.  
Gus spends quite a while mouthing and nibbling his nipples, drawing satisfied sounds out of Jesse whenever he’d suck or bite a little bit harder or circle his tongue around them. He takes off his glasses, places them neatly on the bedside table before continuing his trail of kisses on Jesse’s chest, down his stomach, his hipbones.

When Gus’s face finally reaches his groin, Jesse’s chest is rising and falling with rapid breaths. Just the thought of getting some real stimulation makes him squirm in anticipation. Gus traces his hipbones and the insides of his thighs with his fingertips, his hot breath against his groin making Jesse huff in frustration.

Jesse feels Gus’s tongue delicately lick one of his balls, and he moans deeply, hands twisting in the sheets. Gus licks up his sac, avoiding his cock, which twitches red and hard over his stomach. He presses a trail of light kisses from Jesse’s inner thighs to his perineum.

Gus goes back to lapping at his balls, still careful not to touch his cock, then gently sucks one into his mouth. Jesse’s hips buck up off the bed, and he bites his bottom lip to hold back a moan. “Gus,” he gasps. “C-come on, please.”

He’s instantly flooded with pleasure as wet heat surrounds his cock. Gus takes his cock halfway down his throat and bobs his head, making Jesse arch up off the bed. He hooks his arms around Jesse’s hips, holding them down in a firm grip to keep him in place.

Gus mouths and licks at the tip of Jesse’s cock, then closes his mouth around it, sucking lightly. Jesse pulls in a sharp breath between his teeth. “Fucking— _hell_ ,” he chokes out. Gus moves his tongue in circles around the head for a few moments before he returns to bobbing his head up and down the length.

It doesn’t take long. Jesse doesn’t understand how he got this worked up so fast. The torturously slow pace Gus had set beforehand had been intoxicating, had had Jesse almost coming before Gus even touched his cock. And, when Gus takes Jesse’s entire length into his mouth, rubbing the underside of his cock with his tongue on the way back up, Jesse can’t even manage to give Gus a warning before he’s spilling into his mouth with a wordless cry.

Gus doesn’t seem to have trouble swallowing every drop of his release. He continues his ministrations as Jesse rides out his orgasm, not stopping until he’s panting and quivering from overstimulation. He strokes Jesse’s hipbones gently until his breathing comes back to normal.

“Holy shit,” Jesse mutters under his breath, wondering how the hell they’d gotten to this point. Jesse thinks about the ricin hidden inside one of his cigarettes, in the pocket of the jacket he’d discarded somewhere between the dining room and the bedroom. How did he go from planning to poison the man to ending up in bed with him? Would he actually have the guts to do it, even if this hadn’t just happened? If he had an opportunity? He doubts it.

He’s grateful when Gus’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “Do you think you can take one more?”

Jesse glances at him, not replying but not pulling away either. Gus takes his cock back in his hand, slowly although this time it’s less about teasing him and more about letting Jesse know he can pull away if he wants to. He mouths at the side of Jesse’s soft cock, lips grazing the head, and Jesse hisses in discomfort. It’s too much; his body’s still shaking a little with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

He’s about to tell Gus to stop when the man’s tongue travels lower and lower. Gus sucks at the sensitive skin of his perineum for a brief moment before licking a circle around Jesse’s hole.

“Ah—” Jesse lets his head fall back against the headboard. “Oh my _God_.”

He feels Gus’s thumbs on either side of his hole, prying it open a bit. Then the tongue is back—just the tip of it, wriggling tentative and wet at the pink skin just inside. Jesse moans, his cock already trying to get hard again, straining from the feel of Gus’s exploring tongue on his hole.

Jesse lets his legs fall open, spreading wide. He reaches up to hook his hands under his knees, holding his legs up and open to give Gus more access. He feels exposed like this, overwhelmed, but it’s hard to focus on that as Gus licks flat over him and then dives back inside. Gus’s tongue works its way into the tightness of that spot that has never been touched by anyone before, coaxing Jesse to relax his muscles and loosen up. The sensations are foreign, but not at all unpleasant.

“Gus!” Jesse sobs as Gus starts making slow circles around his rim. “Fuck, oh my God.”

His cock almost aches as it starts to harden again, somehow over and under stimulated at the same time as it lays neglected over his stomach. Gus wraps his lips around Jesse’s hole and sucks, and Jesse can’t stop the sounds falling from his mouth; curses and praise and Gus’s name and God knows whatever else.

Jesse’s legs tremble with the effort to keep them up when he lets go of them, reaches down between them so he can run a hand through Gus’s short buzzed hair, more out of a need to hold on to something than anything. Gus doesn’t seem to mind. He opens his eyes, but doesn’t falter in his actions, tongue still working Jesse over.

Jesse’s resumed to a moaning, writhing mess under the mercy of Gus’s tongue. Gus doesn’t try to hold him down again, instead building a rhythm that matches the way Jesse pushes his hips back against his face. Jesse’s entire body feels too sensitive, jerking with each stroke of Gus’s tongue on him, almost as if he’s trying to get away even though that’s the last thing in the world he wants. He lets himself melt into the sensations, wishing he’d never have to stop feeling as good as he does now.

Gus has Jesse shaking out a broken moan as he reaches up and wraps a hand around Jesse’s cock, now fully hard again. He doesn’t bother going slow this time, fist setting a quick pace as it moves up and down the length of Jesse’s cock. Gus twists his hand on the way up, around the tip, and Jesse sees stars.

“Gus. Fuck, Gus, I—” Jesse cries out when he comes, a choked, desperate sound he can barely believe is coming from him. Hot spurts of come hit him on his stomach and chest, and his hole flutters against Gus’s tongue, clenching and unclenching involuntarily. He’s shaking all over, and his legs finally give in, coming to rest over Gus’s shoulders.

Gus’s hand stops, but he continues his actions on Jesse’s hole for a little bit after Jesse’s ridden out his orgasm, almost as if trying to draw a third orgasm out of him. He laps at the spurts of come around Jesse’s groin, then starts to lick his cock clean. He presses a kiss to the head, tongue prodding at the slit until Jesse whimpers.

“Stop,” Jesse breathes, trying to squirm away. His cock feels like a nerve rubbed raw, so sensitive he just can’t take it anymore. “Jesus Christ— I’m not a chick, stop.”

Gus complies, turning his attention to the come pooled all over Jesse’s torso. Jesse’s chest heaves with the strength of his breaths as Gus laps at each little puddle, licking him clean. He glances down once he’s regained some of his breath, watching as Gus licks at the last drops of come over the tattoo on his chest.

Gus runs a hand through his hair, fingers drawing small soothing circles on his scalp. He lets Jesse settle back into the pillows and kisses him, dirty and full on the mouth. Jesse wraps his arms around Gus’s neck, pushes in closer to him. A strange taste fills Jesse’s senses and he blushes when he realizes he’s tasting himself. Not just his come. His ass.

Jesse hums into the kiss, still stuck in that post-orgasmic haze where things like this are hot instead of gross. He wonders if Gus finds it as hot as he does. Judging by the hungry sound Gus growls against Jesse’s mouth, he’d say he does.

Gus breaks apart with one last, almost chaste kiss, just pressing their lips together. He lies back beside Jesse and keeps on stroking his fingers through his hair until Jesse stops shaking, until he relaxes into the bed and lets his head fall against Gus’s shoulder. 

He’s content just lying down in their half-embrace for a few minutes, but soon a warm feeling starts spreading through his insides. He’s wiped out, but there’s still the urge to return the favor. He leans over to capture Gus’s lips in his again. He cups Gus’s face for a brief moment before he lets his hand trail down the man’s chest, stopping only when it reaches his belt buckle.

He tries to suppress a tremor in his hands as he fumbles to unbuckle Gus’s belt. He has no idea how to do this.

Gus stops Jesse with a gentle hand on top of his. He breaks the kiss, and Jesse looks up at him, eyes full of confusion and hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Wasn’t I—”

“You were fine,” Gus assures. “But… I am okay like this. That was just for you.”

Jesse is unsure how to act as he watches Gus sit up and reach for his glasses on the bedside table. He’s never had somebody refuse the offer for reciprocation before. He’s always been a quite generous lover, and, for him, sex is about making both parties feel good.

“Uh… are you sure?” Jesse leans himself up on his elbows. “I’ll make it good for you.”

Gus stands up from the bed, straightening his sweater. “Yes, I’m sure,” he says, even as Jesse notes he’s hard in his pants. “It’s late. I need you well rested for work tomorrow.”

Jesse hesitates, but doesn’t argue any further. He gets up and searches for his clothes on the floor, putting them on as quickly as he can. He finds his jacket in the hallway. Gus leads him outside with a hand on his back, and Jesse’s thankful when he doesn’t say anything other than “I will see you soon”. Talking would make things even more awkward.

It’s only when he’s in his car and Gus has already moved back inside that Jesse lets himself take a deep breath. The upturned cigarette in his pack is the only thing he can think about, like the image of it is sealed into his mind. Was this an opportunity wasted, or some kind of sign not to go through with Mr. White’s plan? 

Maybe it’s just a sign that he can’t do it.

His hands shake as he grips the wheel, and he tries to ignore the weight of the pack of cigarettes in the pocket of his jacket as he drives away.


End file.
